August 23, 2013
Written by , Posted in Culture

8 Disney Men You Date in Your 20s


1. The Aladdin









Or The Hipster Couch-Surfer

He’s unemployed. He’s kind of dirty. But man, is he charming! He gets by on that charm – scamming people into giving him food and letting him stay on their couches. Chances are he’ll live with you for at least a month without you even realizing it. As soon as you do, he’ll be gone, off to charm another girl into paying for him.

2. The Simba










Or The Boy with Daddy Issues

His father either ran out on him when he was a kid or put entirely too much pressure on him to succeed. Either way, this boy hides it really well when you meet him. He is funny and has a great sense of adventure. But when things get tough, he runs away from his problems. Not a recipe for success.

3. The Merlin








Or The Older Man

Ok, he’s a bit older than you. In some cases, he’s way older than you. But age ain’t nothing but a number, baby! It’s all about being young at heart, and he’s just got that hint of magic and mystery. And, most likely, a lot more money than men your age.

4. The Quasimodo






Or The Guy You Wish Were Cuter

He messaged you on okCupid and, even though you weren’t really attracted to him, he was adept at messaging. You figure, “Why not go out with him?” so you do. And you have a great time. But you just are not attracted to him. So, instead of being the asshole who says, “Let’s be friends,” you’re the asshole who just turns down a second date.

5. The Prince Philip






Or The Cute Guy You Wish Were More Interesting

He messaged you on okCupid and you were like, “CHA-CHING!” And then you meet him and you realize that he’s the “good on paper” guy. He’s just so bland. He’s the boring guy in the rom com that your heroine just cannot end up with. And neither can you, because he’s so boring you just fell asleep. He’s so boring we couldn’t find a GIF of him.

6. The Peter Pan







Or The Boy Who Doesn’t Want to Grow Up

He’s universally loved. He has a group of friends that literally follows him around. His child-like spirit is super fun at first…until you have a fight and he runs away to some fucking made-up place. Him and his boys are drinking and hanging out with some pretty girls by a pool. There’s always this pixie girl around him waiting for your relationship to fail – not to mention the exotic girl he’s always meeting up with. Why can’t he just grow up and commit?

7. The Beast









Or The Hairiest Mother-Fucker You’ve Ever Seen

He’s no Quasimodo – this guy’s handsome. His beard is well groomed and he wears shirts that hint at some manly chest hair. As you hook up for the first time, you think to yourself, “I like the facial hair. The chest hair…ok, I can deal with it. Oh, it extends to the back? We can shave that later, I guess. I wonder if it goes all the way down to… Oh. Dear. God.”

8. The Carl

Or The One You End Up With

Sometimes you don’t see it coming. He may not be the most handsome guy on this list. Maybe he doesn’t even have the best personality. But he just gets you. And he’ll stand by you. He’ll take you to the park to watch the clouds. He’ll make plans with you. He’ll marry you and be by your side through good times and bad. You’ll live happily ever after.








The end.


The following two tabs change content below.


Latest posts by thequestionable (see all)

6 comments on “8 Disney Men You Date in Your 20s

  1. SO SWEET (and eerily spot on)

  2. Kristen58 on said:

    How are Ariel and Peter Pan hanging out together?

  3. Ashley on said:

    Number 8 makes the assumption I’ll find the guy I marry in my 20′s. lol.

  4. kevin Truong on said:

    maybe i’m too old, but who is carl?

    • Carl is from the Disney-Pixar movie UP, which is about a little old man whose wife dies after years of a loving marriage and who then goes on a crazy adventure trying to fulfill their dream of living in South America – but finds his own dreams when a little boy shows him that life goes on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

HTML tags are not allowed.